Hersheypark Guests are Trying To Slowly Kill Me

1. Check the damn weather before you put on clothes and before you commence your drive to the park for the day. Yes, hoodies are expensive to buy if you are cold, don't complain to me. Don't wear white pants if you think it might rain. I don't care if you look like an idiot wearing white clothing when 98% of all guests are wearing rain gear because they checked and found it was going to rain all day.

~

2. Don't wear uncomfortable shoes or flip flops that hurt your feet. You are going to be hiking around a multi-acre amusement park ALL DAY! I bet you wear comfortable, functional shoes to work; and I bet you don't even walk at your job. So... what would make you think annoying unbroken-in flip flops are a good idea for park walking. You have to wear shoes inside the park, it's policy. Period. Let me repeat, I don't care if your dumb ass has painful blisters and you look to me for sympathy or to let you be an "exception". I have a black, empty, dismal heart when it comes to this issue, so sympathy is out the window. Enjoy your painful walk back to the car 2 miles away.

~

3. I am Security, a section supervisor at that. I am not to be used 24/7 solely for directions. Pick up a damn map! They are probably the only things in the park that are free! I don't mind, but there are signs and arrows EVERYWHERE! If you think you are close, use some common sense, be self-sufficient, hone those map skills, and don't ask me!

~

4. If your son/daughter is (or has) gone missing I will help to my fullest extent and ability to find them. If your son/daughter is over the age of 17, I could care less. I've done some research and apparently there are wonderful new pieces of technology that work on black magic called "Cell Phones" that can help better than me. Why you wold choose to leave them at home when you are going to a busy, crowded, and hectic park all day is beyond me.

~

5. I am Cody Wertz.... not GOD. I don't know when it is going to stop raining. If a ride breaks down (especially Fahrenheit, which does frequently); I don't know when it will be fixed... only maintenance does and they can't even give you an accurate time.

~

If I think of more.... I'll be sure to share. "

Thank You for Your Input, We Appreciate Your Concern."

I'm Bringing Sexy Back...

So I am completely bored even though I could be doing a dozen other things, my legs looked extra nice tonight and I decided to take random pictures of them. Just Don't Ask, Don't Even Ask... I am impressed with the cycling spandex tan line mid thigh that is starting to develop.

~This just fascinates me because I have never in my life been "in shape" or "ripped" I started off "husky" in 6th-7th grade, growth spurt of gigantic proportions in 8th grade (which made me tall and lanky), and then gained an unneeded 25lbs my first two years in college. I have always been active (soccer, cross-country, track & field, summer softball, ultimate frisbee, and now cycling) but never super in shape. It makes me feel good to see legs like this, like the biking is paying off and I am getting better and healthier. (If you notice though, I have been slacking on the shaving... woops.)

~ ps. yes, I am flexing (somewhat)... don't sit there and think I have Cavendish thighs yet!

I'm So Excited... And I Just Can't Hide It!

Ok, So I had planned a trip to Kentucky last semester for the summer to go caving... and I have officially labeled that idea LAME compared to my newest summer adventure:

I'm Shippin' Up To BOSTON!

Brielle and I are going to leave the morning of Friday June 19th and dive up to Harold Parker State Forest just outside of Boston and camp for the night. Spend all Saturday the 20th in Boston and then go see THE RED SOX at FENWAY PARK as they take on the Atlanta Braves (booooooo). Then, stay at a hotel in the city then drive home Sunday morning.

~

Let me just say I am bubbling with excitement. This has been a goal of mine to make it to a Red Sox home game and It's finally happening! Woot! There are only two more things I wish would have happened to make it ABSOLUTELY perfect. 1. If there were playing the Yankees and not the Braves. 2. If I was 21 and of legal age to enjoy a cold beverage in the park or a pint at a local Irish pub of Boston.

~

I'll survive. And I'll be with my lovely companion which will make the trip even more special!

It will be a good and well needed break from work too.... If I spend too much time at Hershy or Mechanicsburg, my brain will start to deteriorate for sure.

~
Just as an add on because I'm bored and think this post needs more jazz, I'll include my favorite teams (and sports) just in case anyone shares my interests and wants to talk sports sometime:

NFL: Pittsburgh STEELERS

MLB: Boston RED SOX (followed closely by the Phillies)

NHL: Pittsburgh PENGUINS

NBA: Boston CELTICS (but really, I could care less about Pro Basketball)

NCAA FOOTBALL: PENN STATE

NCAA BASKETBALL: DUKE

PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALL: MANCHESTER UNITED

CYCLING: let's not even go there... that could be a post all by itself.

~

Back to the Red Sox... Nice to see a sweep of the Blue Jays this week! We are slowly making our way back on top of the NL East. Matsuzaka though... what a disappointment this year so far. And how about those Dodgers? Yikes! Even without Ramirez they are gunning along. Glad we got rid of him when we did!

When It Rains... It Pours.

Well, this weekend has been loads of fun,

Our water heater broke and had to be replaced (and I had to take an Ice Cold shower Friday... not fun at all)

While away, Dad informed me that the house was on fire... literally. The fuse box in the basement caught on fire and if my mom hadn't had caught it or if no one was home, we would not have a house right now. Scary Stuff! Had to have all that replaced today.

I've been having some minor pain, and I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about, so to make a long story short, I had a testicular ultrasound done today. Doctor suggested it. That was loads of fun.... not. At least the technician was friendly, funny, and not awkward. I think today is a new record, officially, 4 people (including myself) have seen my "dangling man parts" today. joy.

and, about 1/2 hour ago, we had to put down our oldest dog Fresca. She couldn't stand or eat or function, it was time. ugh...... at least she had a happy 18 years (which our Vet said was 91 human years). God Bless her.

So, now it's time to lay down before work. Hopefully (fingers crossed) nothing else will hurt, break, catch on fire, or die this week. I don't think my parents could take it....

On a more positive note, I just had the opportunity to spend almost 2 lovely days with my wonderful girlfriend for her Birthday and I enjoyed every second. It's amazing, she never ceases to make me smile in new ways. Now, it's back to the real world...

Poker Face

I watched this performance in between gardening the other day. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with it. It's nothing special, the song isn't even that good. I guess I'm just jealous I make $9.00/hr staring at Hershey Park guests while she makes "bank", singing, dressed in a super fantastic outfit like that with a cool space head thing! I was impressed though, I liked the piano solo at the beginning, and her voice was pretty good for being live, and the dancing was ok (except for the Macarena Dance at 3:46...). ? enjoy.

ps. I just now figured out how to put playable Youtube videos in my blog. It's amazing what you can do when you actually READ directions. woot!

Green Thumb

My newest summer project... hopefully I will have some yummy veggies soon. I'm proud, I just don't like mom's eye-sore of a bird bath smack dab in the middle of my vegetable garden. It's nothing fancy or extravagant, just a few tomatoes and peppers. By the way, that is a garden in the front yard. Some may say that's "white trash", I say it's functional and cheaper than flowers (although some marigolds may be in store for the garden when it gets warmer) (but marigolds attract rabbits, so I might hold off on that).

I don't think I've mentioned yet, but FYI, I miss school but I love summer. I like that my biggest decision for the day was whether or not to get flowers for my garden. Joy.

Giro

First of all.... WHAT THE HELL TOM BOONEN!!!! (read here if you have no idea what I'm talking about). I wanted to be a fan. I wanted to like you a lot. How am I going to do this if you're in prison? Waste of talent almost....

Anyways, congrats Columbia-High Road. Good to see my man Cavendish in a stunning "Giro" Pink. But when you have cool kits and calves like these, it's ok to be 2nd.

Lance's calves are slightly disturbing and this photo may not be suitable for small children.

Ok, now onto TT bikes:

Slightly Hideous

Slightly Ridiculous

Epic Journey Home Radio Playlist

The title pretty much self explanatory. On my way home from the (dark) city-ish village of Hamburg, Pa. I came across a series of great tunes on the radio. This is unusual and I was quite pleased; mainly because there is nothing but "word vomit" on the radio in the mornings. I hate morning talk radio shows, with a passion. Loathe may even be a more adequate word. Stupid arguments, pointless pranks, lame advertisements, and annoying voices. Give me music. Anyways, I was so thrilled with this impromptu playlist, I decided to write it down on a gas receipt on the way home....

Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)
Don't Trust Me (3OH!3) *which is my new fav. bike ride "pump up" song!
Escape (Rupert Holmes)
Poker Face (Lady Ga Ga)
In the Air Tonight (Phil Collins)
*which was rudely interrupted by reckless drivers who forced me to call the State Police
Gives You Hell (All American Rejects)
Lola (Ray Davies)
Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)
Summertime (Kenney Chesney)
You Can Call Me Al (Paul Simon)
Heartless (Kanye West)
Girls Just Want To Have Fun (Cndi Lauper)

Thank You 99.3 Kiss FM, Hot 92.1, Mix 106.7, and Bob 94.9 for an enjoyable ride home.

"Things I Don't Understand" for $600 Alex....

Going off of things that annoy me in this post, this is things that I thought of (while mowing the lawn) today that I just don't understand.

1. Why is sex often referenced with "The Birds and the Bees". This makes no sense. Think about it. I'm haven't brushed up on the mating habits of bees lately, but since there is one queen who lays thousands of eggs for the whole hive , I doubt their mating process is anything like ours. In addition, I've seen birds mate; in the street and yard. It's a rather violent and uncoordinated process that looks plain disastrous, and again, it doesn't even come close to the human mating process. What I'm getting at, is if you're trying to explain s-e-x, why use "The Brids and The Bees". We would be better off saying, "The Dogs and The Rabbits", they are a LEAST mammals and reproduce in a manner closer to our process.

2. Why do people say "It's cold as hell" Seems to me that Hell is a hot place. Although Dante describes hell is a freezing cold desolate place, the general perception accepted by the masses is that hell is h0t.

3. Going off of that, why do girls/women say "It's hot as balls" This too needs to be questioned, which I do constantly. Unless I got the slides horribly mixed up in Human Biology class my Sophomore year, I know girls don't have "dangling reproductive parts" so how would they know how hot they get? Anyways, all I'm saying is, I'm not going around saying "Geeze, It's hot as Ovaries today" because I don't have ovaries. Never have, Never will.

4. I don't understand why people don't believe me. I told the Hershey wardrobe dept. that I needed 36 x 34 or 36 pants. So she first brings me 34 waist pants, which I couldn't even get buttoned. Then she brings me 36 x 31 pants and says (and I quote) "They're fine, they'll cut nicely on your security boot". I don't know this lady's name, but I want to hunt her down and punch her in the head. I am 6'4", I literally haven't worn 31 length pants since Jr. High School. I'm contemplating tall bright yellow or pink socks for tomorrow, because I know when I sit down anywhere, my pants are going to creep up to my upper calf. On the optimistic side though, If Hershey Park is hit by a flash flood, I alone will be ready and dry! Thank God!

5. I don't understand how any of us can survive the birthing process without being diseased or deformed. Goodness. There are sooooooo many things that you can be born with (or without). You could be a siamese twin, or have 4 toes, or blind, or deaf, have Autism or even be lactose intolerant. It just amazes me that 2 different strands of DNA and cells can multiply into such an infinitely complex being, inside another infinitely complex being, and (most of the time) have nothing be wrong with them. Just seems like there are so many things that can go wrong at any part of the process.... it's just amazing.

6. I also still don't understand why people drive hummers and giant redneck-modified trucks like these. I'm not even going to start a rant about this one, all I have to say is if you're not going to be going off-road more than twice, you do not need a vehicle of this caliber. The Army does, but not you. Sorry.

Video Game Heroin

I've found myself playing video games for the first time in MONTHS! Literally. I only have a Nintendo 64 and a Nintendo X-Box... nothing fancy. I don't have the time, or justify spending hundreds of dollars on a game system (even with the graphics... I'd rather spend it on BIKE PARTS!)

Anyways, it's been raining (a lot ), and I haven't been feeling good, and no work yet, so I've had some free summer time. Eh, why not.

(Side Tangent: What i do miss is Mario Bros. for the original Nintendo. I loved those games, I had them all and beat them all! Super Mario Bros. 3 was my favorite...)

So, anyways, I figured if I had some free time I would stop in Gamestop and look at the used X-box games. I found one that I always wanted to try out, but never actually did. And it was only $7, woot! Manhunt is the name and killing is the game.

What a crazy game, I don't know what to think. Instead of going out cycling or reading and gaining knowledge, I'm sitting in sweatpants in my (oversized) room paying a game about an ex-convict who's goal is to go around an abandoned city and brutally execute gang members. What a life. As much as I 'dis' it though, it's addicting.

As addicting as it is, let me give ya'll this advice... don't get addicted. I sat down today and played manhunt for 1 1/2 hours like it was nothing. Get out as much as possible, ride a bike, hike a mountain, read about something you're interested, anything, just don't waste time with games. It's ok once in a while, but don't let them consume your valuable life. You don't learn life skills (speaking, knowledge of current events, people skills) from games. wow, just sounded like a soccer mom there.

Ok, I'm done. I think I'll watch The Happening.... good. more death.....

Bike Porn (Did I just say that...?)

Team Colombia-HighRoad's Ride

Lance's New Bike for Italy

Livin' the Dream

Well.... it took a little while, and after a lot of reading and web browsing, I think I've created my dream bike:

Frameset:

This was a little tricky. Mainly because there were so many options, but I was focused on Weight and Stiffness.

Option 1: Scott Addict Limited (3rd place)

Option 2: Specialized Tarmac S-Works (White & Gold) (very close 2nd place)

Option 3: Giant TCR Advanced SL (isp) (aka: WINNER!)
Crankset: Easton EC90

Shifters: Sram Red

Derailleurs: Sram Red

Cassette: Sram Red 12-25

Chain: Shimano CN-7900 Dura-Ace

Brakes: Ciamillo Zero G custom (Every Color!) yes, that will look ridiculous...

Headset: Cane Creek IS-8 Carbon Integrated

Stem: 3T ARX LTD carbon

Handlebars: 3T Ergonova LTD carbon

Wheels: Mavic Cosmic Carbone Ultimate Clincher (don't hate)

Tires: Hutchinson Fusion 2 Kevlar Pro Tech (black/grey)

Saddle: fi'zi:k Arione K1 Carbon Saddle (For Racing) / San Marco ASPide carbonFX (riding)

Pedals: Speedplay Nanogram Zero Titanium

Now, I haven't done any number/gram crunching on this bad boy, but I am pretty sure the bike is under 13lbs, so it looks like I'm hanging weights in my seat post for any races....

Also, pretty sure this bike (parts bought separately) would be over $14,000

What does anyone think? Any changes?

Of Things Yet To Come....

Coming up soon once I get home, and unpacked, and get some dough from lawn work.... I would write them now, but I'm just tired and I don't have the proper cables for picture transfer. I just felt like sharing since I haven't been posting for a little while.

SoCoYo Race Pictures

Washington D.C. Trip

PSU Race Report

My Dream Bike

And for your Literary, Intellectual, Vocabularial, and Visual enjoyment:

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

2o points if you can put it into layman's terms... ready..... GO! ha ha

Dreamer>>>> Sending Out An S.O.S.

So studying lately has caused me to listen to different music that has been gathering electronic dust on my hard drive.

Let me share my two outdated but recently upgraded artists in my playlist of fun...

1. SUPERTRAMP

Song You May Know: Breakfast In America, Dreamer, Give A Little Bit

2. The POLICE

Songs You May Know: Roxanne, Message In A Bottle, Every Breath You Take

In addition, I also recommend, for your studying or reading time pleasure:

The Killers

Augustana

Chicago

Coldplay

Jamie Cullum (eh.....)

Andrew Bird (you have to like a little Indie/Alternative... but it's great stuff)

Jane Monheit

Seal (who just knocked up Heidi Klum.... again)

Yellowcard (if you like noise)

Summer Adventure???

I'm taking a break from studying to share a summer adventure I hope I get the chance to plan and do... make a weekend trip down to the: Mammoth Cave National Park

So, I've been there before, as a small child (5th-6th Grade) but the grandness and awesomeness (for lack of a better word) seemed to be lost that young. It rough when your parents say you are going to see caves in Kentucky when all your friends are telling you stories of Disney World and Downey Park. Anyways.... when your parents and grandma are somewhat members of / part of the Central PA Rock and Mineral Club, they tend to like trips like that. (yes, we have a room in the basement full of rocks. yes, I have my own rock, shell, and fossil collection. Yes, my grandma has an even bigger bedroom in her house full of rocks and hundreds of these!. Yes... don't hate).

Tangent alert...back to caves. I think it would be an awesome outdoor adventure. Drive down, camp, hike/bike the trails, and take cave tours. Downfalls.... 10hr drive and $$$.

I would like to take the Wild Cave Tour. Duration: 6 to 6½ hours. Caving Distance: 5½ miles.

Physical Challenges: Free-climbing cave walls; lengthy crawls through areas as
tight as 9 inches high; walking in a crouched position; hand and knee crawls
over jagged rocks and dirt; crawling through wet areas; twisting into and out of
tight crawlway openings.

Sounds like a blast to me.... and did you know...

Mammoth Cave is the world's longest known cave. In fact it is so long that if the second and third longest caves in the world were joined together, Mammoth Cave would still be the planet's longest cave and have nearly 100 miles left over!

Finals Week...

Finals week has commenced,

Failure is not an option.

ps. As a Golden Girls fan, R.I.P. Bea Arthur

Paris-Roubaix, how about that....

So I realized I never replied to the Paris-Roubaix prediction post. I did indeed watch the full 2hr live coverage on VS Easter Sunday, and the last 45-60mins was worth it. I would have liked to have seen Hushovd, Boonen, and Hincapie duel it out in the end... even Hushovd and Boonen, but those cobblestones are wicked, and merciless. I don't quite know why Thor wiped out so bad coming into that turn with Tom Boonen and couldn't catch back up, but props to Tom Boonen for sticking it out the last few Km's to hold the lead. What a guy. I didn't predict that one.

Poor Hincapie, I think that if he wanted to pull off a win, it had to have to be this year. When he got that flat and tried to bridge the gap to the leaders, NO ONE would help him at all. He led the peleton and tried to pick up the pace for miles, with no success. Quickstep and Cervelo Test Team weren't going to help him, that's for sure. He said in a post race interview that he can't end it like this, and that he'll have to be back again next year to try again, but that's going to be tough. The man's getting a bit older (don't hate me for saying that all you "getting older" people who may stumble across this blog)

Good race, I enjoyed it. I still don't know how their bodies survived 5+ hours on the bike, mostly on muddy, rocky, bumpy cobblestones. Amen to everyone who even finished.
Now for some Boonen:

Don't be Lazy. Don't be Impulsive. Don't Litter!

Please Don't Litter. I just spent 2 1/2 hours today cleaning up Queen St./Baltimore Rd. for Adopt-A-Highway. I can't even describe the amount of shit (for lack of a better word) we picked up today. It was slightly depressing, but in the end, it felt good.

Top Things Picked Up Today, in order:

1. Beer Bottles/Cans
2. Plastic Soda Bottles
3. McDonald's/Fast Food Bags
4. Candy Bar Wrappers
5. plastic/Styrofoam cups

If you note, all these top 5 trash items collected could have easily been kept in your vehicle until you arrived at your intended destination. Don't be impulsive, let that soda bottle in the cup holder until you reach your house, then throw it away. It's not a hard task. I can't believe that people can consciously just throw trash out the window. (It's also scary to think all the beer bottles and cans that were discarded were most likely from a vehicle... in other words.... don't drink and drive either!) If you are a litter bug and don't care about throwing that small Snickers wrapper or McDonald's coffee cup out the window on your drive home from work because you don't care about the environment, I hope this post offends you, because I don't care. I hope a groundhog that gets your broken beer bottle down it's hole picks that thing up and shows up at your door and stabs you in the ankle with the broken pieces... get the point? Don't Litter!

untitled

This is a simple illustration I fabricated tonight, in my 3/4 sober state, after having a lovely evening with some good friends and my favorite lady friend (who is also known as my girlfriend). I believe it is self explanatory if you know the current situation. (And for those out there wondering... Kappa Kappa Psi (or KKY) is not a brand of "super strength" personal lubricant.) ;) ha ha, don't ask. I've always been interested in psychology (maybe that's why I had 2 years of it in High School and got a 5 on the AP test...) but it fascinates me how one person's opinion can have such an effect on impressionable people who (to be honest) don't really care about the outcome of important things. That's all.

SoCoYo was a disaster today... post on that is also imminent.

Shiny New Toys

I just got these in the mail. They are mine. They are Shiny. They are Light. They are TIGHT (unlike my black Diadoras...) and they have a Carbon Fiber Sole. And did I mention they are Mine? :)

Switching cleats and giving them a test ride SOON!

This shiny toy is also on the mind... Diamondback Overdrive (aka. 29'er). Merv's Bike shop has a pretty good deal. Little heavier than what I was looking for but....

Paris-Roubaix Predictions

I don't know why, but I'm thoroughly excited for the race this evening. All the road races I've tried to predict involved (my man) Mark Cavendish and were sprinter stages or the Schleck brothers in mountain stages, but this one is tricky.

I think George Hincapie (another favorite) is strong this year, especially with Astana. He did very well in the Tour of California this year and I think he's a strong rider all around, but... does he have strong team help like the Cervelo Test Team???

Then there's Tom Boonen. Will there be a repeat? As much as I'd like to say maybe, I don't think so this year. Even with his bike (named after the race) and Sylvain Chavanel.

I wouldn't count out Fabian Cancellara.

But, this year I'm predicting: Someone from the Cervelo Test Team.

Roger Hammond - Heinrich Haussler - Thor Hushovd

It will be a battle between Haussler and Hincapie, but I think someone from Cervelo may take it.

> to the mountains we go...?

I posted these photos for no reason at all. ;) Just a few things I have been looking at lately and thinking about more lately.... may have to make a trip to Merv's not just to aimlessly look at the MTN bike selection next week. hmmmmmmmmm Wonder what Rider Big E would say if he knew I was browsing this section of the biking world? ha ha

And, Price Point has that sweet deal (in my opinion) on those shoes and pedals....

Easter Sunday

Sunday plans (tent.):

Wake up and go to early church with Mom!
Visit Grandpa and Have Brunck
Light relaxing ride around Hershey
Do some GIS homework (maybe)
Color Easter Eggs (because I want to)
Watching Paris-Roubaix on a LCD projector I rented from the Library today. woot!
Dinner with the Family
Ship
Deer Hunter 2k5 with Jon?

In other words... finally a Relaxing Day!

Tom Boonen

This is a simply AWESOME picture. LoVe iT! Those legs...

Tom Boonen is the man too; world champ, a little badass, a little euro metro, & a great racer. We're just going to forget about that little cocaine incident. oops.

Think Tight...

I just got back from a short (windy) ride, and it dawned on me that everything in the world of cycling is... tight. Here are a few examples so you don't think I'm crazy:

tight clothes (Spandex everywhere!)
helmet has to be tight
shoes have to be small and strapped tight
chain has to be tight
cables and shifting mechanisms have to be smooth and tight
spokes on your wheel rim have to be pulled tight
handlebar tape has to be wrapped tight
seatpost and handlebar clamps have to be tight
water bottle has to fit tight into your water bottle holder
sunglasses have to fit tight
for us cyclists of the male gender, our "dangling man parts" are compressed tight!
hell, even my spare tube is wrapped tight.

Just something to think about. enjoy.