Went for a ride today. It was going well. I then realized I was heading strait for the new Central Dauphin High School and it was 2:28. Shit. I hit the school traffic right at 2:35. Double Shit. I'm glad I'm still alive. Anyways, thinking about it the whole way home, I decided to write a Dr. Sues inspired story about my adventure today. I think it ended up sounding more like The Christmas Story, written my Dr. Sues. Anyways, here it goes:
Cold ride today, where do i go?
All I want to do is avoid roads with slick snow.
All through Linglestown,
the cold wind made me frown,
but my legs wanted to get stronger,
so I decided let's ride longer.
Oh look my old high school, settled high on a hill,
what time is it, 2:35, SHIT! I'll be killed.
I raced passed the school, now buses flew past,
their not as dangerous as the kids that came last...
First came the rich chicks who clustered like hens,
On! Brittany, On! Heather, On! Courtney and Jen,
driving daddy bought Audis, Rovers, and Benz.
I feared for my life at the sight of these girls,
for I knew they'd be distracted by their iPhones and Blackberry Pearls.
Next were the skaters that came with such might,
their hoodies and modified Civics bore a frightful, hideous sight.
They too were distracted by cleavage in the passenger seat,
a horny girlfriend who would dump him before his parents, she would meet.
Finally the Jocks,
in tall Nike Sox,
bass cranked so loud that their car actually rocks.
I feared for my life as these kids all went by,
remembering myself in their shoes... man does time really fly.
At the intersection I was. "Holy Shit I'm Safe!"
I thought. Let's get the hell home.
And then from the rear there arose such a clatter,
5 sluts in a Jeep that were all filled with chatter.
With whistles and cat calls, they all sat and stared,
at my obviously nice spandex covered "dairy air",
while the drivers Jeep horn left a sound in the air.
Little did they know that the light just turned red,
and a smartass move just happened to pop in my head.
My bike turned around and I came with surprise,
terror and embarrassment then filled their white eyes.
The girls all ducked and slid low in their seats,
while the driver rolled down the back window and turned down Chris Brown beats.
At first I said "hi", and no one replied,
only giggles and smirks came from inside.
Then one finally spoke, "pretty cold to be outside..."
"I don't mind I said, It's all in your head"
The next asked if I go to Ship?, and quickly looked away,
I looked down at my jersey and bibs, "what gave it away?"
(A smartass I was, today).
The girls knew they had been caught, who were yelling at my ass,
good thing I was taken, and they were too young to make a pass.
The light turned green and I said goodbye with a fake smile,
awkward moment then, the cars before them took a little while.
Ha ha ha, I thought, as I rode home real fast,
this bike ride today had been a real blast.
2 miles from home, uphill the whole way.
Zonk, Bonk, Zonk, and Bonk.
Dammit, I had for gotten to eat today.
Now I'm at home blogging alone,
while dad heats up bbq ribs... yum.
All I want to do is avoid roads with slick snow.
All through Linglestown,
the cold wind made me frown,
but my legs wanted to get stronger,
so I decided let's ride longer.
Oh look my old high school, settled high on a hill,
what time is it, 2:35, SHIT! I'll be killed.
I raced passed the school, now buses flew past,
their not as dangerous as the kids that came last...
First came the rich chicks who clustered like hens,
On! Brittany, On! Heather, On! Courtney and Jen,
driving daddy bought Audis, Rovers, and Benz.
I feared for my life at the sight of these girls,
for I knew they'd be distracted by their iPhones and Blackberry Pearls.
Next were the skaters that came with such might,
their hoodies and modified Civics bore a frightful, hideous sight.
They too were distracted by cleavage in the passenger seat,
a horny girlfriend who would dump him before his parents, she would meet.
Finally the Jocks,
in tall Nike Sox,
bass cranked so loud that their car actually rocks.
I feared for my life as these kids all went by,
remembering myself in their shoes... man does time really fly.
At the intersection I was. "Holy Shit I'm Safe!"
I thought. Let's get the hell home.
And then from the rear there arose such a clatter,
5 sluts in a Jeep that were all filled with chatter.
With whistles and cat calls, they all sat and stared,
at my obviously nice spandex covered "dairy air",
while the drivers Jeep horn left a sound in the air.
Little did they know that the light just turned red,
and a smartass move just happened to pop in my head.
My bike turned around and I came with surprise,
terror and embarrassment then filled their white eyes.
The girls all ducked and slid low in their seats,
while the driver rolled down the back window and turned down Chris Brown beats.
At first I said "hi", and no one replied,
only giggles and smirks came from inside.
Then one finally spoke, "pretty cold to be outside..."
"I don't mind I said, It's all in your head"
The next asked if I go to Ship?, and quickly looked away,
I looked down at my jersey and bibs, "what gave it away?"
(A smartass I was, today).
The girls knew they had been caught, who were yelling at my ass,
good thing I was taken, and they were too young to make a pass.
The light turned green and I said goodbye with a fake smile,
awkward moment then, the cars before them took a little while.
Ha ha ha, I thought, as I rode home real fast,
this bike ride today had been a real blast.
2 miles from home, uphill the whole way.
Zonk, Bonk, Zonk, and Bonk.
Dammit, I had for gotten to eat today.
Now I'm at home blogging alone,
while dad heats up bbq ribs... yum.
2 comments:
This should be published somewhere.... just saying.... I thought you would like an official comment for you post <3
ahahahaha. Cody, you're ridiculous. this was very creative and funny. :) I liked it!
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