Hersheypark Guests are Trying To Slowly Kill Me

1. Check the damn weather before you put on clothes and before you commence your drive to the park for the day. Yes, hoodies are expensive to buy if you are cold, don't complain to me. Don't wear white pants if you think it might rain. I don't care if you look like an idiot wearing white clothing when 98% of all guests are wearing rain gear because they checked and found it was going to rain all day.

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2. Don't wear uncomfortable shoes or flip flops that hurt your feet. You are going to be hiking around a multi-acre amusement park ALL DAY! I bet you wear comfortable, functional shoes to work; and I bet you don't even walk at your job. So... what would make you think annoying unbroken-in flip flops are a good idea for park walking. You have to wear shoes inside the park, it's policy. Period. Let me repeat, I don't care if your dumb ass has painful blisters and you look to me for sympathy or to let you be an "exception". I have a black, empty, dismal heart when it comes to this issue, so sympathy is out the window. Enjoy your painful walk back to the car 2 miles away.

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3. I am Security, a section supervisor at that. I am not to be used 24/7 solely for directions. Pick up a damn map! They are probably the only things in the park that are free! I don't mind, but there are signs and arrows EVERYWHERE! If you think you are close, use some common sense, be self-sufficient, hone those map skills, and don't ask me!

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4. If your son/daughter is (or has) gone missing I will help to my fullest extent and ability to find them. If your son/daughter is over the age of 17, I could care less. I've done some research and apparently there are wonderful new pieces of technology that work on black magic called "Cell Phones" that can help better than me. Why you wold choose to leave them at home when you are going to a busy, crowded, and hectic park all day is beyond me.

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5. I am Cody Wertz.... not GOD. I don't know when it is going to stop raining. If a ride breaks down (especially Fahrenheit, which does frequently); I don't know when it will be fixed... only maintenance does and they can't even give you an accurate time.

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If I think of more.... I'll be sure to share. "

Thank You for Your Input, We Appreciate Your Concern."

I'm Bringing Sexy Back...

So I am completely bored even though I could be doing a dozen other things, my legs looked extra nice tonight and I decided to take random pictures of them. Just Don't Ask, Don't Even Ask... I am impressed with the cycling spandex tan line mid thigh that is starting to develop.

~This just fascinates me because I have never in my life been "in shape" or "ripped" I started off "husky" in 6th-7th grade, growth spurt of gigantic proportions in 8th grade (which made me tall and lanky), and then gained an unneeded 25lbs my first two years in college. I have always been active (soccer, cross-country, track & field, summer softball, ultimate frisbee, and now cycling) but never super in shape. It makes me feel good to see legs like this, like the biking is paying off and I am getting better and healthier. (If you notice though, I have been slacking on the shaving... woops.)

~ ps. yes, I am flexing (somewhat)... don't sit there and think I have Cavendish thighs yet!

I'm So Excited... And I Just Can't Hide It!

Ok, So I had planned a trip to Kentucky last semester for the summer to go caving... and I have officially labeled that idea LAME compared to my newest summer adventure:

I'm Shippin' Up To BOSTON!

Brielle and I are going to leave the morning of Friday June 19th and dive up to Harold Parker State Forest just outside of Boston and camp for the night. Spend all Saturday the 20th in Boston and then go see THE RED SOX at FENWAY PARK as they take on the Atlanta Braves (booooooo). Then, stay at a hotel in the city then drive home Sunday morning.

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Let me just say I am bubbling with excitement. This has been a goal of mine to make it to a Red Sox home game and It's finally happening! Woot! There are only two more things I wish would have happened to make it ABSOLUTELY perfect. 1. If there were playing the Yankees and not the Braves. 2. If I was 21 and of legal age to enjoy a cold beverage in the park or a pint at a local Irish pub of Boston.

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I'll survive. And I'll be with my lovely companion which will make the trip even more special!

It will be a good and well needed break from work too.... If I spend too much time at Hershy or Mechanicsburg, my brain will start to deteriorate for sure.

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Just as an add on because I'm bored and think this post needs more jazz, I'll include my favorite teams (and sports) just in case anyone shares my interests and wants to talk sports sometime:

NFL: Pittsburgh STEELERS

MLB: Boston RED SOX (followed closely by the Phillies)

NHL: Pittsburgh PENGUINS

NBA: Boston CELTICS (but really, I could care less about Pro Basketball)

NCAA FOOTBALL: PENN STATE

NCAA BASKETBALL: DUKE

PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALL: MANCHESTER UNITED

CYCLING: let's not even go there... that could be a post all by itself.

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Back to the Red Sox... Nice to see a sweep of the Blue Jays this week! We are slowly making our way back on top of the NL East. Matsuzaka though... what a disappointment this year so far. And how about those Dodgers? Yikes! Even without Ramirez they are gunning along. Glad we got rid of him when we did!

When It Rains... It Pours.

Well, this weekend has been loads of fun,

Our water heater broke and had to be replaced (and I had to take an Ice Cold shower Friday... not fun at all)

While away, Dad informed me that the house was on fire... literally. The fuse box in the basement caught on fire and if my mom hadn't had caught it or if no one was home, we would not have a house right now. Scary Stuff! Had to have all that replaced today.

I've been having some minor pain, and I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about, so to make a long story short, I had a testicular ultrasound done today. Doctor suggested it. That was loads of fun.... not. At least the technician was friendly, funny, and not awkward. I think today is a new record, officially, 4 people (including myself) have seen my "dangling man parts" today. joy.

and, about 1/2 hour ago, we had to put down our oldest dog Fresca. She couldn't stand or eat or function, it was time. ugh...... at least she had a happy 18 years (which our Vet said was 91 human years). God Bless her.

So, now it's time to lay down before work. Hopefully (fingers crossed) nothing else will hurt, break, catch on fire, or die this week. I don't think my parents could take it....

On a more positive note, I just had the opportunity to spend almost 2 lovely days with my wonderful girlfriend for her Birthday and I enjoyed every second. It's amazing, she never ceases to make me smile in new ways. Now, it's back to the real world...

Poker Face

I watched this performance in between gardening the other day. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with it. It's nothing special, the song isn't even that good. I guess I'm just jealous I make $9.00/hr staring at Hershey Park guests while she makes "bank", singing, dressed in a super fantastic outfit like that with a cool space head thing! I was impressed though, I liked the piano solo at the beginning, and her voice was pretty good for being live, and the dancing was ok (except for the Macarena Dance at 3:46...). ? enjoy.

ps. I just now figured out how to put playable Youtube videos in my blog. It's amazing what you can do when you actually READ directions. woot!

Green Thumb

My newest summer project... hopefully I will have some yummy veggies soon. I'm proud, I just don't like mom's eye-sore of a bird bath smack dab in the middle of my vegetable garden. It's nothing fancy or extravagant, just a few tomatoes and peppers. By the way, that is a garden in the front yard. Some may say that's "white trash", I say it's functional and cheaper than flowers (although some marigolds may be in store for the garden when it gets warmer) (but marigolds attract rabbits, so I might hold off on that).

I don't think I've mentioned yet, but FYI, I miss school but I love summer. I like that my biggest decision for the day was whether or not to get flowers for my garden. Joy.

Giro

First of all.... WHAT THE HELL TOM BOONEN!!!! (read here if you have no idea what I'm talking about). I wanted to be a fan. I wanted to like you a lot. How am I going to do this if you're in prison? Waste of talent almost....

Anyways, congrats Columbia-High Road. Good to see my man Cavendish in a stunning "Giro" Pink. But when you have cool kits and calves like these, it's ok to be 2nd.

Lance's calves are slightly disturbing and this photo may not be suitable for small children.

Ok, now onto TT bikes:

Slightly Hideous

Slightly Ridiculous

Epic Journey Home Radio Playlist

The title pretty much self explanatory. On my way home from the (dark) city-ish village of Hamburg, Pa. I came across a series of great tunes on the radio. This is unusual and I was quite pleased; mainly because there is nothing but "word vomit" on the radio in the mornings. I hate morning talk radio shows, with a passion. Loathe may even be a more adequate word. Stupid arguments, pointless pranks, lame advertisements, and annoying voices. Give me music. Anyways, I was so thrilled with this impromptu playlist, I decided to write it down on a gas receipt on the way home....

Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)
Don't Trust Me (3OH!3) *which is my new fav. bike ride "pump up" song!
Escape (Rupert Holmes)
Poker Face (Lady Ga Ga)
In the Air Tonight (Phil Collins)
*which was rudely interrupted by reckless drivers who forced me to call the State Police
Gives You Hell (All American Rejects)
Lola (Ray Davies)
Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)
Summertime (Kenney Chesney)
You Can Call Me Al (Paul Simon)
Heartless (Kanye West)
Girls Just Want To Have Fun (Cndi Lauper)

Thank You 99.3 Kiss FM, Hot 92.1, Mix 106.7, and Bob 94.9 for an enjoyable ride home.

"Things I Don't Understand" for $600 Alex....

Going off of things that annoy me in this post, this is things that I thought of (while mowing the lawn) today that I just don't understand.

1. Why is sex often referenced with "The Birds and the Bees". This makes no sense. Think about it. I'm haven't brushed up on the mating habits of bees lately, but since there is one queen who lays thousands of eggs for the whole hive , I doubt their mating process is anything like ours. In addition, I've seen birds mate; in the street and yard. It's a rather violent and uncoordinated process that looks plain disastrous, and again, it doesn't even come close to the human mating process. What I'm getting at, is if you're trying to explain s-e-x, why use "The Brids and The Bees". We would be better off saying, "The Dogs and The Rabbits", they are a LEAST mammals and reproduce in a manner closer to our process.

2. Why do people say "It's cold as hell" Seems to me that Hell is a hot place. Although Dante describes hell is a freezing cold desolate place, the general perception accepted by the masses is that hell is h0t.

3. Going off of that, why do girls/women say "It's hot as balls" This too needs to be questioned, which I do constantly. Unless I got the slides horribly mixed up in Human Biology class my Sophomore year, I know girls don't have "dangling reproductive parts" so how would they know how hot they get? Anyways, all I'm saying is, I'm not going around saying "Geeze, It's hot as Ovaries today" because I don't have ovaries. Never have, Never will.

4. I don't understand why people don't believe me. I told the Hershey wardrobe dept. that I needed 36 x 34 or 36 pants. So she first brings me 34 waist pants, which I couldn't even get buttoned. Then she brings me 36 x 31 pants and says (and I quote) "They're fine, they'll cut nicely on your security boot". I don't know this lady's name, but I want to hunt her down and punch her in the head. I am 6'4", I literally haven't worn 31 length pants since Jr. High School. I'm contemplating tall bright yellow or pink socks for tomorrow, because I know when I sit down anywhere, my pants are going to creep up to my upper calf. On the optimistic side though, If Hershey Park is hit by a flash flood, I alone will be ready and dry! Thank God!

5. I don't understand how any of us can survive the birthing process without being diseased or deformed. Goodness. There are sooooooo many things that you can be born with (or without). You could be a siamese twin, or have 4 toes, or blind, or deaf, have Autism or even be lactose intolerant. It just amazes me that 2 different strands of DNA and cells can multiply into such an infinitely complex being, inside another infinitely complex being, and (most of the time) have nothing be wrong with them. Just seems like there are so many things that can go wrong at any part of the process.... it's just amazing.

6. I also still don't understand why people drive hummers and giant redneck-modified trucks like these. I'm not even going to start a rant about this one, all I have to say is if you're not going to be going off-road more than twice, you do not need a vehicle of this caliber. The Army does, but not you. Sorry.

Video Game Heroin

I've found myself playing video games for the first time in MONTHS! Literally. I only have a Nintendo 64 and a Nintendo X-Box... nothing fancy. I don't have the time, or justify spending hundreds of dollars on a game system (even with the graphics... I'd rather spend it on BIKE PARTS!)

Anyways, it's been raining (a lot ), and I haven't been feeling good, and no work yet, so I've had some free summer time. Eh, why not.

(Side Tangent: What i do miss is Mario Bros. for the original Nintendo. I loved those games, I had them all and beat them all! Super Mario Bros. 3 was my favorite...)

So, anyways, I figured if I had some free time I would stop in Gamestop and look at the used X-box games. I found one that I always wanted to try out, but never actually did. And it was only $7, woot! Manhunt is the name and killing is the game.

What a crazy game, I don't know what to think. Instead of going out cycling or reading and gaining knowledge, I'm sitting in sweatpants in my (oversized) room paying a game about an ex-convict who's goal is to go around an abandoned city and brutally execute gang members. What a life. As much as I 'dis' it though, it's addicting.

As addicting as it is, let me give ya'll this advice... don't get addicted. I sat down today and played manhunt for 1 1/2 hours like it was nothing. Get out as much as possible, ride a bike, hike a mountain, read about something you're interested, anything, just don't waste time with games. It's ok once in a while, but don't let them consume your valuable life. You don't learn life skills (speaking, knowledge of current events, people skills) from games. wow, just sounded like a soccer mom there.

Ok, I'm done. I think I'll watch The Happening.... good. more death.....

Bike Porn (Did I just say that...?)

Team Colombia-HighRoad's Ride

Lance's New Bike for Italy

Livin' the Dream

Well.... it took a little while, and after a lot of reading and web browsing, I think I've created my dream bike:

Frameset:

This was a little tricky. Mainly because there were so many options, but I was focused on Weight and Stiffness.

Option 1: Scott Addict Limited (3rd place)

Option 2: Specialized Tarmac S-Works (White & Gold) (very close 2nd place)

Option 3: Giant TCR Advanced SL (isp) (aka: WINNER!)
Crankset: Easton EC90

Shifters: Sram Red

Derailleurs: Sram Red

Cassette: Sram Red 12-25

Chain: Shimano CN-7900 Dura-Ace

Brakes: Ciamillo Zero G custom (Every Color!) yes, that will look ridiculous...

Headset: Cane Creek IS-8 Carbon Integrated

Stem: 3T ARX LTD carbon

Handlebars: 3T Ergonova LTD carbon

Wheels: Mavic Cosmic Carbone Ultimate Clincher (don't hate)

Tires: Hutchinson Fusion 2 Kevlar Pro Tech (black/grey)

Saddle: fi'zi:k Arione K1 Carbon Saddle (For Racing) / San Marco ASPide carbonFX (riding)

Pedals: Speedplay Nanogram Zero Titanium

Now, I haven't done any number/gram crunching on this bad boy, but I am pretty sure the bike is under 13lbs, so it looks like I'm hanging weights in my seat post for any races....

Also, pretty sure this bike (parts bought separately) would be over $14,000

What does anyone think? Any changes?

Of Things Yet To Come....

Coming up soon once I get home, and unpacked, and get some dough from lawn work.... I would write them now, but I'm just tired and I don't have the proper cables for picture transfer. I just felt like sharing since I haven't been posting for a little while.

SoCoYo Race Pictures

Washington D.C. Trip

PSU Race Report

My Dream Bike

And for your Literary, Intellectual, Vocabularial, and Visual enjoyment:

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

2o points if you can put it into layman's terms... ready..... GO! ha ha