Going off of things that annoy me in this post, this is things that I thought of (while mowing the lawn) today that I just don't understand. 1. Why is sex often referenced with "The Birds and the Bees". This makes no sense. Think about it. I'm haven't brushed up on the mating habits of bees lately, but since there is one queen who lays thousands of eggs for the whole hive , I doubt their mating process is anything like ours. In addition, I've seen birds mate; in the street and yard. It's a rather violent and uncoordinated process that looks plain disastrous, and again, it doesn't even come close to the human mating process. What I'm getting at, is if you're trying to explain s-e-x, why use "The Brids and The Bees". We would be better off saying, "The Dogs and The Rabbits", they are a LEAST mammals and reproduce in a manner closer to our process.
2. Why do people say "It's cold as hell" Seems to me that Hell is a hot place. Although Dante describes hell is a freezing cold desolate place, the general perception accepted by the masses is that hell is h0t.
3. Going off of that, why do girls/women say "It's hot as balls" This too needs to be questioned, which I do constantly. Unless I got the slides horribly mixed up in Human Biology class my Sophomore year, I know girls don't have "dangling reproductive parts" so how would they know how hot they get? Anyways, all I'm saying is, I'm not going around saying "Geeze, It's hot as Ovaries today" because I don't have ovaries. Never have, Never will.
4. I don't understand why people don't believe me. I told the Hershey wardrobe dept. that I needed 36 x 34 or 36 pants. So she first brings me 34 waist pants, which I couldn't even get buttoned. Then she brings me 36 x 31 pants and says (and I quote) "They're fine, they'll cut nicely on your security boot". I don't know this lady's name, but I want to hunt her down and punch her in the head. I am 6'4", I literally haven't worn 31 length pants since Jr. High School. I'm contemplating tall bright yellow or pink socks for tomorrow, because I know when I sit down anywhere, my pants are going to creep up to my upper calf. On the optimistic side though, If Hershey Park is hit by a flash flood, I alone will be ready and dry! Thank God!
5. I don't understand how any of us can survive the birthing process without being diseased or deformed. Goodness. There are sooooooo many things that you can be born with (or without). You could be a siamese twin, or have 4 toes, or blind, or deaf, have Autism or even be lactose intolerant. It just amazes me that 2 different strands of DNA and cells can multiply into such an infinitely complex being, inside another infinitely complex being, and (most of the time) have nothing be wrong with them. Just seems like there are so many things that can go wrong at any part of the process.... it's just amazing.
6. I also still don't understand why people drive hummers and giant redneck-modified trucks like these. I'm not even going to start a rant about this one, all I have to say is if you're not going to be going off-road more than twice, you do not need a vehicle of this caliber. The Army does, but not you. Sorry.
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